Bowhunting (Associated) Bloopers Competition

[Luke]

The winner of our first month of this new comp goes hands down (IMO) to Jindy! I think most of us would have had trouble not falling off of our chairs when we read his tale.

Jindy wins 12 Aztec Tuskers from Nimmo Bruce Firearms and Archery - Cairns. (Many thanks boys :!:)

Here is Jindy's blooper in case you missed it!

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:10 am Post subject:

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I often stay at a lovely old station house out near Cobar, and it has a heap of land and lots of out buildings where cats like to hang out.
I was hunting cats around the old shearers quarters and I felt the urge for a number 2. There is a huge long drop setup with 6 separate seats over this long pit. Before sitting down I grabbed a piece of newspaper from behind the door and rolled it into a rough tube and lit the end. It is an old trick to run the flames around the inside lip of the seat to get rid of all the biteys and creepys before you sit down. The paper started to burn my fingers so I dropped it in, did my business and got back to my hunt.
An hour or so later I was back at the house and my dad starts commenting about an odd foul smell that seemed to be following him since he got back to camp. I could smell it to and then it dawned on me, we were straight down wind from the long drop.
We jumped in the car and went down to have a look and sure enough the contents of the long drop were smouldering away creating a plume of the worst smelling smoke you could imagine. We shovelled some dirt down on top and smothered it, and then we had to have a good wash. The cloths we were wearing almost had to be incinerated..

I was like 21 or something and, strange as it might seem, I hadn’t thought much about the dry conditions affecting the moisture content of an old long drop pit.
_________________
Mick

[Luke]

Inarguably an unbeatable classic from Antarcher...

Well done mate :oops: :lol: 12 B'heads generously dontated by Nimmo Bruce Firearms and Archery - Cairns will be soon on their way to you!

PM me your postal addy mate :D

Here it is again for any who may have missed it ;)

Luke

I previously posted this in the tuning section but Luke said i could put it in the bloopers section so here it is. Thanks Luke.
I posted under the premise of dumb things you did, whilst tuning, that either damaged you or your bow.

I myself had my first stupid encounter with a bow the other night.
I noticed some leaf matter had wedged under my string on the idler cam and wanted to clear it so I pulled back to full draw in the hope that the leaf would fall off. Well that leaf stuck right on the string so I leaned forward to dislodge with any part of my face I could get near it.
As I extended myself forward I took a step, stood on a broom and lost a bit of balance. In a flash I was well with in my draw length and the bow slammed shut. The string grabbed my nose and drove my forehead in to the cam. It felt like a big king hit and I felt my face thinking that my nose was ripped off and my forehead was split open.
Luckily though I only lost a bit of bark in two places on my head.
My mate said he would have paid anything to have seen it as I am quite accident prone and he always gets a good laugh out of the stupid situations I get myself in.
Cheers.

[Luke]

This month, again we're graced by an absolute classic blooper!

The winner - Bowriver - will get his sticky little hands on a great prize, a set of Coffey US digital grain scales. From a sponsor whom all too soon we'll be able to inform you of ;)
Here again is the tale of how Bowriver came unstuck :lol:

Well it didnt happen whilst bowhunting, but happened whilst playing with my bow. I bought some of the "super peep tubing" a while back, it has a larger diameter (or radius i cant remember, lets call it larger hole) then the knob on my peep, at first i was concerned it wouldnt stay put at full draw, but the vacuum effect held it quite firmly. However after having drawn the bow countless times since i got the new tubing it started to slip. No worries i thought to myself, a little bit of super glue will do the trick, but alas the tube has dried up, ah well just have to buy some more. Being the tight ass that i am i opted for the 3 pack of superglue from the cheapy shop. Well i learnt my lesson on cheap glue now, im used to super glue being thicker than water, a little gluggy and able to be slowly squeezed from the tube. Not this stuff. Unknown to me was the fact it was thin as water, so here i go holding my peep in the right position to put a few small dabs of glue on it before sliding the tube on. It wasnt to be, i squeezed the tube...nothing, so i gave it another little squeeze which opened the gates, watery glue squirted all over my peep, my leg, the tube and my right hand. I managed to get my fingers apart before the glue dried and i ended up with hands like lobster boy, then switched the tube to my other hand, before remembering it had glue on it too, luckily i was able to quickly pry it off using a table(used a table cause i didnt wanna touch anyting) before it set enough to tear skin quickly grabbed the paper towel to pick it up off the table, damn, hand still has a bit of glue on it and the glue from the tube soaked through the towel, u guessed it, paper towel stuck to my hand, tube stuck to paper towel.
You'll be happy to know i got my tubing fixed, and was able to remove everything from my hand without loosing skin, luckily it was only the paper towel stuck to me, not the tube itself. Its amazing how many stupid things u can do in under a minute when you think you're gonna end up stuck to yourself.
Personally i didnt find it funny at the time, but the mrs and my mum thought it was a riot.

Cheers Paul

P.s....Im still peeling glue off my hands, it was the one time in my mum and girlfriends life they had no nail polish remover, might have to try sand paper

[Luke]

July's winner...DONGLES with this unrepeatable effort on a large stag... :oops:

Congrats mate, the winner of a packet of G5 Outdoors B-52 broadheads
8)

I'm almost too ashamed to tell this one.

Earlier this year during the fallow rut I had heard a buck grunting a few gulleys over from where I was glassing and spent an hour slowly moving in on him through sparse cover and ground cover resembling over cooked corn flakes. When I finally spotted the buck, he was surrounded by 10 does and there were only a few spindley trees plus one decent sized gum between the deer and myself. All the while the buck grunted virtually non-stop. It was about 10am and was really starting to heat up.

Some how I managed to cross a 50 metre stretch of basically open ground whilst in view of the deer. Halfway to the spot I had chosen to get to, a spiker walked out of some trees 100 metres away and slowly nosed his way towards me. I had once again some how managed to keep a small tree (about 5 cm in diameter) between his eyes and myself but it wasn't doing anything for my heart rate, at 12 metres he finally spotted me and let out a bark and stiff leg trotted away thankfully not spooking the other deer!

Slowly by slowly (1 step per minute, so it felt) I made my way to the last decent tree between the deer at about 60 metres from the still grunting buck. I waited and hoped a doe would feed my way and bring the buck with her, I constantly ranged the buck and kept an eye on all the does with binoculars and thoroughly examined the bucks antlers (I judged him to be around the 185-190 Dp mark). After about 30 minutes a doe started heading my way and looked as though she would pass about 45-50 metres from me, as on cue the buck stolled out for her, every step he took my heart started pounding louder. 5 minutes later I was ranging the buck at exactly 45 metres broadside with a nice shooting lane between two 5 cm diameter trees.

I sucked in a few breaths to try and control the "buck fever" and drew my bow. I rested the pin on his chest and then had the biggest flinch in my life!! In the process punched off the release and shot the arrow into a tree 13 foot up and 5 metres in front of me... Needless to say the deer didn't hang around for an encore.

I felt like a fool climbing up the tree to unscrew the arrow, the Woody's surpreme is still up there. I can also tell you I would have shocked a sailor with the language I was using to myself on the 4 Km walk back to the car.

[Luke]

The winner for August...Phantom!

I have one but at the time it wasn’t so funny.

A mate and I had been bow hunting up a river all day and on the way back in the boat the motor decided to s@#t itself about 30ks from the boat ramp. We had a quick look at it and decided it was impossible to fix as it was ceased. So what did we do, made a sail of course, it was working for about 10minutes then it broke. We then paddled up to the bank and crawled up the mud as it was low tide.

We then started walking along the bank trying to get to the boat ramp and about an hour into the walk my mate said s@#t we cant make it there is a creek coming up which will block us, so we had a look at the Fish Finder book just to make sure and certain enough he was right, by now it was almost dark so we got a fire going and gathered up all the wood we could find, we ate our one small can of spaghetti between the two of us and waited hoping that one of our parents had decide to come out and look for us. During the night we were hearing crocs splashing up on the bank boars roaring off on the distance but we didn’t bother going to have a look as the bows were in the boat and we had no torch.

As the sun came up again we decided to walk back to the boat and try to row back with the tide going out. It was hard getting the boat back in the water as the high tide had pushed it up against the bank and it was now almost low, after about 20 minutes pushing in waist deep mud we finally got it in the water. We then rowed, rowed, rowed our boat violently down the river furiously, furiously, furiously thinking this has to be a dream.

We made it all the way to where we camped the night then the tide turned. We pulled up on the bank and waited. It wasn’t long before we could hear a boat coming up the river, as it came into view it looked like they were going to go straight past us even though we were waving and calling out, they finally spotted us standing there caked in mud. As they approached us we realised that it was the police. We were glad we were finally getting out of this mess. The police were also glad that had found us so easily as if we weren’t in the boat they would have had to send out a search party. Anyway we got a tow back to the boat ramp.

After we got the boat in, had a talk to the police and thanked them for helping us out we head home and had a very quiet day.

Any way there was one thing we had forgotten to take on this trip, but we had taken it on the trip the day before, a CDMA mobile phone which could just get signal where we were.